Wheaton's Way

Whoever said “less is more” clearly wasn’t talking about groceries, airline seats, or any other commodity that seems to have shrunk in size and increased in price over the last few years.

At first, they were subtle changes, but then they became more noticeable as time passed. Now, we’re getting a lot of whimper – rather than bang – for our buck.

I had to get a new iPhone for business a few weeks ago. My previous model was starting to misbehave where the touchscreen wouldn’t work at random moments, and the camera was taking blurry photos. Might be my friends at dinner; might be a sighting of Bigfoot.

I opened the box for the new phone, and realised it did not come with a wall plug or earphones. What the hecksicle? It had been a while since I’d upgraded my device, as I tend to hang onto my electronics until they really give up the ghost. Case in point: I still have a working VCR somewhere in the house.

Since when did Apple stop supplying such items? It did come with a cable, but USB-C is now all the rage and I didn’t already have a wall plug with that connection in it. Besides, even if it had been a USB-reg’la cable, I don’t live in a hotel and I’m not a fan of sitting in the car for two hours while my phone charges.

So, of course, the only thing to do was to buy a separate power block. I would have loved to have taken a stand and not paid Apple for something I think should be supplied, but then who would be the real loser with the dead iPhone?

I Googled my concerns, and found on the Apple support page a statement that announced its “efforts to reach carbon neutrality by 2030” as an excuse for no longer including a power adapter and earphones. Okay, super that you’re reducing the size of the box etc. to save Earth. So, how about including a gift certificate printed on a leaf in biodegradable ink to give the buyer a ‘free’ power block and earphones at any Apple store? Or maybe even a unique code for online and store reimbursement? And while we’re worrying about the environment, wouldn’t it make sense to bring back the headphone jack on all your devices, rather than forcing those of us heathens who use wired ‘phones to buy your adapter? I must have about 30 of those things in my house because they’re the size of a paper clip and I keep losing them. That can’t be helping our green initiative… or my bank account.

To the environmentalists who are up in arms, thinking I don’t care about the planet and throw out my single-use plastic mattress every day, nothing could be further from the truth. It just boils my butter when I feel some companies use the carbon footprint umbrella to cover ways for them to save money but charge us the same – or more – for less.

I don’t remember people reclining their seats on airlines being a big deal in the past, but now it’s become a hot topic of conversation in the media. Should people recline? Is it rude to do so? Seriously?? Since when has it become politically incorrect to utilise your recline function? Is using your sick bag off limits because it might disturb the other passengers? Will tray tables be going out with the bathwater in the near future?

It can’t be coincidence that as planes try to cram more people into economy class seats, so suddenly reclining your chair makes you the Antichrist. The person behind you doesn’t necessarily want to smell your hair and count your follicles, but then the airline companies need to put the inches back in that have been slowly taken away. Only a 5-year-old and performers from the Cirque du Soleil can get out to the toilets if the people in front of their row recline, but don’t blame them – blame the designers apparently headhunted from battery henhouses.

Another thing I love is the wording that has crept more and more into menus, bills and other lists of services. For my convenience, a percentage of extra money will be added to my bill. How is that convenient for me? Surely the phrasing should be “For our convenience… ” because that’s kinda what it is – it makes it easier on the venue or service provider. I have absolutely no problem with paying tips or extra for a range of services, but it isn’t my convenience if it’s tacked on regardless and if I disagree with it, the onus is on me to argue against it. Honestly, I’d rather it just said, “XX% will be added to your bill at the end – like it or lump it” or “better use the deck chairs and towels ‘cos you’re paying for them either way”. Don’t be dressing it up as though you’re doing me a favour. It’s not the addition of funds that irks me, so much as the way the notion is presented.

Yup, on a rant this week, and it all started with that Apple iPhone. Maybe I’ve got that shopper’s fatigue that people talk about – where we are all wearying of paying the same price for the same products but getting less.

At least some things remain unchanged. The day that a Cheesecake Factory dish can be eaten by one person in a sitting is when we’ll know the end is nigh.

Regular sized fish-and-chips? Cue the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.