Honor yourself and loved ones this holiday season

This Thanksgiving, while millions gathered for the traditional four F’s — food, family, festivities and football — I found myself in a different space. The holiday season that began with Turkey Day has become less about consumerism and celebration, and more a period of peaceful pause and prayer.

You see, I lost my mom, Louise, on Thanksgiving Day in 2011 to multiple myeloma cancer; my older brother, Steve, on New Year’s in 2019 to the same disease; and my dad, Ron, during the Christmas season of 2020 to heart failure and degenerative Alzheimer’s. Their absences form a trifecta of loss that circles these cherished holidays — from the Thanksgiving table to the Christmas tree to the New Year’s champagne.

With time and tears, I’ve created a new snow globe way of viewing the holidays, by peering inside myself and what is around me to truly discover a stream of love, gratitude and joy for what was and is now.

Holiday season double-wrapped

The holiday season has always been my favorite time of year, as my excitement for life soars surrounded by the six-week explosion of holiday activities I enjoy, such as music, twinkling lights, gatherings, giving and going.

Now, in tandem, it also launches my personal cycle of remembrance for those family members (and close friends, too) who have passed who can’t join in these festivities but were central to making my life’s past holidays bright and merry.

Their influence and presence continue to have a glow over my holidays as I move through this special time of year with gratitude.

Creating meaningful ways of remembrance

Intentionality leads the way for my actions during the holidays to balance the memories and my present day-to-day happenings during the busyness.

I go deep into my prayer life during the holidays, giving praise for their soulful spirits and asking the Lord to offer them peace. More prayer and more honoring in different ways with candles, writing reflections, nature exploration, churchgoing, and resurrecting religious traditions they appreciated and cherished dearly.

I share stories of their lives, wisdom and wondrous ways with current family members around the food table and even in between watching football — which is not my sport of choice.

I participate in charitable giving with them in mind, and thoughtfully replicate their patterns of compassion and sharing. My past family members loved helping others year-round and especially during the holidays, volunteering at food banks, cooking holiday meals, giving rides, donating time and spreading kindness to neighbors and others who had needs.

Embracing with hope

The memory well runs deep for me — most obviously during the holiday season — because it is the time of year we generally pause and think about others such as family, friends and our communities.

I recognize all of us are touched by past influences of the holiday seasons we’ve experienced that have shaped who we are today and will continue to do so in the years to come. Holidays play a significant role in our lives — for better or for worse.

Please look to honor yourself and your loved ones, living and deceased, this holiday time. May joy and peace weave its way into your celebrations and holiday activities this year, along with wonder and rest in the days to come. Rejoice!

Ormond has a journalism degree from California State University, Northridge, and recently moved from Moscow to Hayden. Her daily spiritual growth is a priority in her life, and it’s been a pathway for living peacefully with herself and others.