'We Live In Time': 72 Thoughts I Had Watching Florence Pugh And ...

Florence Pugh has a gift for stoking chemistry with virtually anyone (it’s called acting, people! Look it up!), but her latest role – as a young woman battling cancer and attempting to crush it as a chef and also raising a family with her partner, a very emotional sweetie played by Andrew Garfield, in the new A24 film We Live in Time – is perhaps her most affecting yet. I saw the movie in theatres on Thursday (sidenote: is there a better moviegoing experience in the US than sitting in the AMC at the Grove eating Twizzlers at 11am?), and naturally, I had capital-T Thoughts. Below, find literally every amusing thing that passed through my mind during the film’s one-hour, 44-minute runtime.

Warning: spoilers below.

Miss Flo! Running! As she loves to do!God, just seeing Flo makes me ache for the halcyon celeb-gossip days of the Don’t Worry Darling press tour.I want to pick fresh eggs that my backyard chickens just laid :(Okay, these eggs have stuff inside of them, so that’s a step up from the eggless dystopia of Don’t Worry Darling.Sleepy Andrew Garfield!I like Flo’s shaggy little bob! She looks like my maltipoo, in the best way possible.Oh, wow, she’s suddenly very pregnant.Oh, shit, Andrew Garfield in glasses is working for me, big time.Okay, confusing flashback: Flo’s character, Almut, has (or had?) cancer.Oh, okay, this is post-pregnancy and the ensuing kid is officially in the world. Got it.Almut wants to adopt an elder dog to teach their kid about death. Okay, Jenny Schecter!Almut doesn’t want to do the cancer treatment that might give her more time because of the shitty side effects, which I can’t blame her for, though Andrew’s character Tobias seems to feel differently (also fair).Is this movie about to become about a cooking competition?LOL, Tobias works at Weetabix?God, I do miss UK candy, but I’m going to be honest: their cereal can’t hold a candle to what we’re cranking out here in the US.Tobias is getting divorced? From someone named Helen?If the time-jumpy nature of this recap is confusing you, please know it’s the movie’s fault, not mine.Oh, no! Tobias is in a body cast!I know this isn’t the point of this scene, but damn, it must be soothing to go to the hospital (or just “hospital”) in the UK and know it’s not going to bankrupt you.Wait, Almut and Tobias meet after she hits him with her car?While she has really cute bangs?WHAT IS THIS TIMELINE?Decent of her to go to the ER with him, I guess, although I think I would also do that for Andrew Garfield.Are they at an American-themed diner? Fun! And horrifying!Almut’s “Anglo-Bavarian” cuisine sounds good, actually.Hey, it’s the kid!Okay, watching Andrew Garfield have a tea party with a child has bisexually devastated me.Sex scene!Girl, you’re in labour! Ignore your flustered British husband and take an Uber!Man, they’re really throwing the word “chef” around like it’s The Bear.Why is Tobias getting a haircut in the tub from his dad like a tiny boy?Maybe I’m just not a foodie, but “lemon-mustard gel” sounds...... bad.It’s Tiny-Bangs Almut again!Wait, is this meet-cute happening...... before the car accident?Or after?I’m so confused.How are you, as a straight, cis man, going on a date and not bringing condoms?Ooh, he does occasionally get free Weetabix. I get it, Almut; swag is a turn-on.I do enjoy a nice, lightly scored falling-in-love montage, I must say.Almut doesn’t want kids, but Tobias does.I wonder what will happen!Just kidding, I already know, due to the weird rom-com Rashomon nature of this film.More egg-cracking! What Flo Pugh was born to do onscreen!Sorry to be a hard-boiled cynic, but all I can think when the male lead lights a bunch of candles in the bedroom to woo his beloved is “fire hazard”.Sorry, whose baby shower is this?Am I genuinely not smart enough to follow the braided plot of this....... romantic comedy?Man, Flo Pugh really can pull off a shaved head.Almut’s doing well in the chef Olympics or whatever, but she’s also very sick all the time :(I am demurely and elegantly calling attention to Andrew Garfield’s ass.If you’re pregnant, your partner should absolutely be feeding you chocolate biscuits in the bath.Oh, no, Almut has an infection and they’re starting to make reproductive plans; she sweetly says that she could actually see herself having kids with Tobias.If your movie doesn’t contain at least one shot of romantic protagonists laughing in slow motion on a merry-go-round, is it even a rom-com?Aw, Almut’s in remission!Almut is...... in labour and stuck in a gas station bathroom on New Year’s?Damn, Tobias, break that door down!With help from a cool gas-station employee lady!And a doctor on FaceTime!Y’all, get your baby out of that bathroom and into a onesie!Aw, this fist-bump between the helpful gas station employees is sweet.Ugh, the tumour has metastasised and they can’t operate.Do healthcare professionals really say “It’s okay not to be okay”?I do not think that would comfort me, but to each her own.It all comes out: Almut has been training for the competition instead of resting, and she’s planning to compete on the day she’s supposed to marry Tobias.Tobias is, understandably, pissed, but I also get that Almut wants to leave her daughter a legacy besides “sick mum”.Cooking competition time!I’m so glad my job doesn’t really involve small, finicky details like plating microgreens. I would not be good at that.Oh no, Almut is too sick to finish, but her assistant chef comes through.Assistant chef is hot, if I may say?Sweet ice-skating scene drawing on Almut’s tortured past as a figure skater.Oh, God, Tobias and his daughter come home and we see they have a dog, which I think means Almut has died.And now Tobias is teaching his daughter to crack an egg the way Almut taught him, and I am fully ugly-sobbing. Good thing this theatre is empty except for me!Okay, I think those time-jumps could have been handled better, but at least the Flo/Andrew chemistry was there?